Reflecting on some of my weird and wonderful customers from last year, I have come to the conclusion that the customer isn’t always right. Sorry and all that, but sometimes the customer is just a little bit wrong.

I sold a dining table. Okay, it wasn’t the biggest dining table, but nevertheless it was chunky pine, to seat four comfortably, or a cosy six. Nothing weird about that is there… so far…? The customer lived about 30 miles away and asked how much it would cost to deliver. I usually charge 40p per mile, so the delivery fee would have been £12. The customer thought this was too expensive, and made this known in no uncertain terms, so decided to collect. I asked that they bring blankets with them to protect the table. A time and date was arranged.

The customer duly arrived… in an Audi sports car (a new one at that. And they said £12 delivery was too expensive!), with a small hand towel to wrap the chunky pine dining table. I blinked a lot, as I do when perplexed. I looked up the road, expecting a van to follow, there was none. The customer was quite surprised to discover that the dining table wouldn’t fit on the back seat of the coupe. The customer was also adamant that the dining table was going home with them, so asked for some rope, upended the table and tied it to the roof of the sports car. By this time it was raining, but no worries, the small hand towel must have protected the table on its journey home. I blinked a lot as the Audi roared off into the distance and wondered how someone with that sort of earning power could be so er, thick uninformed? I also listened for a thud, wondering if the customer would make it out of the village before the table hit the deck.

There must be something about my dining tables… Another customer bought a table from me off Ebay. Well, they didn’t exactly buy it, because they didn’t pay. Several emails were exchanged before silence set in, so I put the matter to Ebay and got my fees back. Upon re-listing the dining table, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it sold straight away… until I saw who the buyer was. Yes, you’ve guessed it. I sent a very abrupt email and an invoice, which was paid two days later, on Sunday evening. By midnight on the Sunday, I’d received 4 emails, demanding delivery forthwith, and by Tuesday (the stated delivery day) the email count stood at 15, with each one becoming more and more aggressive. To add insult to injury, I later discovered (from my courier), that the table wouldn’t fit through the door to the customer’s home. The customer tried to intimidate the courier, blaming him, but I gather that the matter was dealt with quite deftly from my now frazzled courier.

This one is really quite sweet:-) I received an email asking if the clocks kept good time:

Vintage Clock Knobs

Vintage Clock Knobs

My sarcastic husband suggested that I reply “Yes, twice a day”.

I will add that the vast majority of my customers are lovely, but there’s always one or two that make me wonder:-)

On a different note, I’ve just finished the first batch of some new knob designs:


I have a soft spot for these designs.